I wish... you hear that a lot, right? I hope... I dream... It all means the same thing. Things are not going your way. Life is unfair. There are better things in life, and they should be yours. Who doesn't feel that way?
Funny... I seemed to have lost my spark. That's been happening a lot lately: I get all fired up, determined over something or other; then, I feel deflated, like I lost without even putting up a fight. Sounds as though I gave up though, but how can you fight when you lose all your spirit?
That's what it feels like. Everything that makes me who I am just disappeared. All the colors are muted. Then, I go idle. Most people think I am lost in thought, but I'm just there, not doing much of anything, just breathing really.
There are times when I get overwhelmed with emotions: anger, sadness... all those negative ones. I feel like screaming, crying, breaking things. I have picked so many fights with my boyfriend over little to no reason because I am a whirlwind of emotions.
A lot of people think I am pregnant. I'm not. I've taken a few tests. All of them were clearly negative.
I'm scared. Not too sure why, but it's what I am feeling right now. I feel a bit weak for admitting it but a little better as well.
Well, life goes on. Guess I will, too.
