Long time no type. I know that no one follow this, but having this out there just makes me feel so much better. An online diary of sorts; lol, stating the obvious it seems.
I've been feeling depressed as of late. Longer than that actually. I hate it. I don't understand it. My gosh, it hurts so much. It feels as though there's a huge hole in me that keeps growing and growing. I keep falling deeper every minute that passes. I've lost my hope. It's all I can do to continue with my obligations.
I don't go to class anymore. It seems like there's no point. There's very little that I get excited about; when I do get excited, it is very short-lived. I envy everyone. To see their smiling faces, hear their joyous laughter... Why does that elude me? It's like it's within my grasp and slips through my fingers like water.
It feels as though I am being consumed by sadness, and there's no way to explain it. I don't even know when it all started. Has it only been this past semester? Maybe it has been there this entire time, growing bit by bit, and I've only noticed it until now.
Whatever the case may be, I wish it were gone. I don't have the strength to pull myself out anymore. When I'm alone, I find myself crying. Why? Why is this happening to me?
I'm glad I have him though. Without his presence, I'm sure I would have given up long ago. It would seem that I still have a bit of hope left.
Until next time.
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